10 Things that make Canada the best country in the world
As Canadians, we have plenty of things to be proud of. But is it possible that we’re not proud enough? Here are 10 things that we think make Canada not just great, but the best country in the world:
1. The French language
Canada is home to Quebec, which is the only place in the world where they speak French, one of the most beautiful languages known to man.
2. We don’t care what Americans think about us
One of the best things about Canadians is that they simply don’t care about what their American neighbours think of them. A 2013 poll showed that fewer than 5% of Canadians care about what Americans think of them.
3. When traveling, we sew tiny Canadian flags onto the clothing of everyone we meet
Canadians are beloved around the world for doing this, more than when we walk up to foreigners and quietly blow Canadian flag confetti into their open mouths.
4. We don’t care what Americans think about us
One hundred and seventy five more polls carried out between 2013 and 2014 confirmed that only between 4-7% of Canadians care about what Americans think of them.
5. We have our own So You Think You Can Dance
Does anything beat So You Think You Can Dance Canada? I don’t think so.
6. The Death Wheel
The Montreal Death Wheel is one of Canada’s most celebrated treasures. Any Canadian whose heart does not swell with pride at the mention of the Death Wheel must ride the Death Wheel.
7. Our children grow to be three times taller
By the time American children reach the age of five, they grow to an average height of 3.5 feet. Canadian children? More than 10 feet.
8. The Canadian Loonie
The Loonie is a terrifying 50-foot-tall black bird with glowing red eyes that is used by the Bank of Canada to influence the monetary policy of other countries.
9. We don’t care what anyone thinks
We simply don’t care. We are not on the global periphery, we are an important country, one that people in other countries care about. And we don’t need anyone to tell us that.
10. We don’t care what anyone thinks
We have everything we could possibly want and need and we don’t care what anyone thinks.
11. Someone please tell us who we are
There is an emptiness inside that will not go away. Will you please tell us about ourselves? We will listen with bated breath for hours. We don’t care what you talk about, just say something. Please say something about Canada. Is anyone there? ♦
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